You Don't Cheat On Mai V And Get Away Clean
by Ai Ga Hoshii Dake
Summary: She wanted cheesecake, but revenge wasn't so bad either.


Okay. See I was listening to this song two nights ago night really late and it inspired me to write a MaixJoey song. So I started writing this. Then I notice there's this really weird bug on the side of my entertainment center. I'm not a big bug person. Especially when I don't know what that bug is. So I got a little creeped out but it was staying still so I stayed in my room and was quiet. Then my dog (who was sleeping on my bed cuz she's my baaaaby yesh she issss 'kay sorry) starting having like this nightmare and shaking and crying so I leaned over and began to rub her stomach and I looked over to where the moth-thing was aaaaand.

-dun dun dun-

IT WAS GONE! I didn't even bother to look around my room because then I would've seen it flying around and I'm pretty sure it was a moth but THERE'S ALWAYS THAT 1 DAMN PERCENT OF DOUBT!

So I instantly shut my laptop, turned off the TV, and ran into my Mom's room and I slept there for the night. NO I'M NOT A BABY she works the night shift so I had the bed to myself. And my dog.

Oh but there was a mosquito in her room so then I got pissed off, but it didn't sting me because I left the closet light on and I'm pretty sure the thing was attracted to light because he kept boucning on and off the TV when I was rewatching the finale of Queen Bees.

Bees. Hahaha. Alright enough bugs, time for my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO or Little Jackie's song "LOL" or any of their other awesome songs.

* * *

I'm a big supporter of woman's intuition. Very big, infact. Its practically my whole Modus Operandi. Just ask anyone who knows me. I embrace my sexuality and boldness, and I know I'll kill whatever I take on. I'm just that cool.

And right now, my woman's intuition is nudging towards a certain blond above me, absently staring at the TV. I had been resting my head on his lap for a good forty-five minutes after we came home from lunch. His hand was resting on my hip as he scrolled through the channels to find something to watch during the commercials of the wrestling show he's making me watch.

Men. Pshaw.

"Joey, how talkative can Tristan get on that thing?" I asked. His phone buzzed for the tenth time, and each time he'd grumbled something about him. I wasn't good friends with Tristan, but apparently that guy can text up a damn typhoon.

_I see your thumbs working overtime lately  
Immersed in a text you sent discretely_

Joey never used his phone unless it was a real emergency so this alone made me a bit suspicious. But soon he told me Tristan agreed to shut up and we quietly watched sweaty men knock eachother into steel staircases. This is actually more fun than I thought.

(A/N: I saw that in a championship once for the WWE. I forget the guy's name. It looked really painful)

We sat comfortably for another fifteen minutes before _it_ happened again.

"Oh shit babe, I gotta split!" he suddenly blurts out, wiggling his legs so I'd sit upright.

Again? Seriously? He's been doing this on-off now, and Ms.Intuition is starting to tell me something's up. Joey sprung up off the couch and slipped his new light blue jacket I bought him on. He gave me a chaste kiss, apologized and he was out the door.

Seriously people, I bought him a damn jacket. What the hell?!

"Joseph!" I called after him, but no response.

It had been going on for a while, two weeks tops. I didn't want to say anything, because if anything we have in common, its our tempers. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and changed the channel to some soap opera. But I couldn't focus on it. Was Joey...cheating on me? No he'd never do that.

_Come to think of it she probably a lot like me  
It's a low blow but I act like I don't know  
You used to stay now you say you gotta go  
Your excuses are very original  
But you got no organizational skills_

Right? Right.

Suddenly my phone beeped. I rose from the couch and pick it up off the kitchen table. I smiled. It was from Joey. I hit "Answer".

So much for joy. It was obvious now.

"heeyyyy sxy thangggg.

wut's up? i jus left her house. wutcha u wanna do 2day? i told all my frnds im super busy n i made it look like i had sumthin important 2 do 4 her. cnt wait 2 see u

Miss u lots. xoxoxo ;)

joey"

Did the gates of hell just open or is that me fuming? I could be a combination of both, I do like to keep those gates in my basement.

That little bitch was cheating on me! ME! Mai freakin' Valentine! Do you realize everything I've done for him? I bought him a jacket!

**JACKET**!

I slumped into the kitchen chair, letting my head rest on the table. I can't believe that little-- AUUGH. I can't deal with this. I know I'm bitchy and stubborn, but so is he! And we click, we totally click. We angrily click. I even went out of my way to act extra nice when I suspected him of something all week. Did I do something wrong? Say something over the top? Am I boring now because I'm nice? Did everything totally backfire? If I wasn't wearing eyeliner right now (oh God forbid I try to look nice for Joey) I'd be sobbing. Those streaks are hard to get rid of.

_I get a text two seconds after you leave  
Obviously meant for her, not for me  
It said 'whats up sexy? Are you gonna come through?  
Let a brotha know what a sista gonna do'  
Text me back 'X X O O  
I miss your embrace sideways happyface :-)'_

I heard some keys jingle from the other side of my front door and Téa let herself in. "Hey Mai, what's going on? I baked you a blueberry cheesecake because I know you like them so much and I just ran into Joey! He said he's so sorry for cheating he's going to buy you lots of things!" she chirped. I looked over to see her in a Snow White costume holding my cheescake.

"Ohhh now he's making me delusional too!!" I wailed and hid my head with my arms on the table. I heard her rush over and gently rub my back.

"I'd like that cheesecake though," I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

Téa grabbed my shoulders and hauled me up off the table. She wasn't Snow White anymore, just Téa. A very concerned Téa, but that's nothing new. "What's wrong Mai?" she asked. I led her to the couch and showed her the text. She looked at me like I was crazy. "Didn't you say you thought he was doing something suspicious? How is this bad?" she asked. Maybe Téa was having some kind of eye problem, could she not read? "Because he sent that right after he left. Its meant for the other girl. Joey always sends texts to me that start 'hey its ur joey'" I said. Sniffle. Téa patted me on the shoulder and handed me back the phone.

"I'm sure its one whole big misunderstanding. We were all there when he was getting the courage to ask you out, he really likes you. I'm sure if we just sit him down and--"

"No."

"No?" she asked, "Whaddya mean no?" I had been staring down at th text while she was rambling, and I knew what I had to do. I dissapeared into my room and changed clothes. Ugly grey sweatpants became my purple mini-skirt, and my blue-longsleeve teddy bear shirt became my white tanktop. I threw over my purple jacket and changed into my Boots. I walked back into the living room, all the sadness on my expression gone.

Téa's jaw dropped. "Not The Boots," she mumbled. She knew what The Boots meant. I had grabbed my pair of Super Ultra Binoculars (that's literally what the box said, and they weren't kidding) as I walked out from my room. I put them and my phone in one of the various handbags I kept stowed in the closet and slid it up onto my shoulder.

"Let's roll Téa," I said.

"Uh Mai, I really don't think this is ness-"

"I said we're rolling."

_Oops  
Did your thumbs have a nervous twitch?  
You just sent the wrong text to the wrong bitch_

* * *

_LOL  
I text your celly  
Gotta spell out: Go to hell  
Toss you in the trash  
Then reduce you to an acronym  
W T F? You reply  
I laugh so hard I almost cry  
Beat you to the punch line  
Broke your heart before you broke mine_

I had developed a plan as we were driving to the café. The Café Moriano, to be exact. I parked my convertable a few blocks away and lead Téa to the entrance. We leaned against the wall before she spoke.

"Mai what are we doing here? If you were hungry I could've made you something. This place is really expensive!" Téa whined. I sighed. Her whining and ditziness wasn't helping me at this point. Not that it ever did or anything.

_Why you gonna go try and play me out?  
Why you gonna go and fill my head with doubt?  
Clouds and shit I don't wanna deal with  
All stressed out shouting, throwing a fit, c'mon_

"This is war now Téa. You don't cheat on Mai Valentine and get away clean. And because you were in the house when I put _The Boots_ on, you're in this war wether you like it or not," I carefully explained. "But what if Joey gets mad at me?" she asked. "You let me worry about that," I told her. "I still think its easier to talk to him than squeeze a confession out of him," she grumbled, crossing her arms. Rolling my eyes, I scanned the sidewalks and various people sitting in the outside area for the café. I wasn't truly expecting to see anybody I knew, but it couldn't hurt to check. Aha! It worked out perfect.

_How you gonna lie your way out of this one?  
You think it might be time for a confession?  
You've left no room for any more fabrication  
Boy a cell phone could be a dangerous weapon_

"Mira!" I called rushing to the partition of the seating area. The redhead looked up from her menu and grinned. "Heyyyy Mai, what's going on?" she greeted. Téa trailed behind me. "This is Téa, mind if we sit and chat? We're not hungry," I asked. "Go ahead!" she grinned. I moved the petition out for me and Téa and we sat at the table.

"So what's shakin'? Haven't seen you since last week," Mira giggled. I took up the newspaper she put down and opened it in front of me and Téa. "I'm gonna need this," I told her. She gave me a look and I slowly explained my dilemma with my bitch.

I mean, Joey. Actually, nevermind. The first one was good.

"Yeah and I got stuck with all of this," Téa droned. Mira shook her head. "He never seemed like the person. You should dump his ass for this," she said. I rested my chin in my palm. I hadn't thought of dumping the boy. I loved him too much. He just needed a little...

"You shouldn't dump him Mai. You know he loves you, maybe there's something we don't know," Téa offered. Mira scoffed. "They've been having fights for like, ever. Its high time she gets a boy who's worthy of her," she retorted. Téa clenched her jaw. "That _boy_ happens to be one of my best friends. He's a good person," she replied calmly. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying she wouldn't give a speech. That was like, the very last thing I needed at this moment.

_Next time check if the safety's on  
Trigger-happy fingers can expose the gun  
Woah what a tangled web we've spun  
Now it's on son I'm about to have some fun_

"He may be a good friend but look what he did to Mai!"

"Its probably just one big misunderstanding!"

"Why? If he was truly happy with her he wouldn't be sneaking around now would he?!"

"Wanna bet?"

"GIRLS!" I yelled as loud as I could without earning stares from the patrons around us. "I don't need you guys arguing about the man I'm trying to make a decision about right now," I growled. They both leaned back in their seats.

I loved Joey, but he was an ass. He's an ass but I love him.

Hm.

"Mira gimmie your phone," I told her. She rummaged through her handbag and placed the phone in my palm. I flipped it open chose 'New Text' and entered Joey's number. Téa leaned over to watch. Then she gaped. "Mai what are you doing?" she asked. Mira walked around the table and peered over my shoulder. But I had already hit send.

"What did you do?"

"Just sending him an invitation," I chuckled. Téa just sighed. Mira grumbled and sat back down. I gave back her phone and took out my binoculars.

_I make sure the I.D.'s unknown  
I text you back from another phone  
'Yeah baby I'm coming through  
I'll meet you on the avenue'_

"So when does the newspaper come in?" Mira asked, finishing off her pasta. "To hide our faces if he should turn around," I told her, pointing my finger to the corner of the building. Joey was leaning against the corner of the building right near a partition. I pulled the newspaper up over my face and Téa knocked Mira's spoon off the table and stuck her head under the table to get it. When Joey looked the other way I nudged her in the back. She placed the spoon back on the table and fixed her hair.

_LOL  
I text your celly  
Gotta spell out: Go to hell  
Toss you in the trash  
Then reduce you to an acronym  
WTF? You reply  
I laugh so hard I almost cry  
Beat you to the punch line  
Broke your heart before you broke mine_

_LOL LOL LOL  
LOL LOL LOL_

"So you told him to meet at our café. Then you hide from him? I don't get it," Mira whined. "Order some ice cream," I told her, placing thirty dollars on the table for me and Téa. "We'll need atleast another forty minutes at this table. I'll have mint chocolate chip." Mira shrugged and called over the waiter. After five minutes we all were indulging in the sweets, occasionally hiding our faces when Joey turned his head.

"Its been like a half hour. My stomach's rolling with cold dairy. And nothing's happened with Joey. AND I have a date with Jamie tonight," Mira grumbled, letting the spoon drop into her dish. "What exactly are we waiting for Mai?" Téa asked, wiping off chocolate ice cream from her lips with a napkin. I smiled and put the binoculars to my eyes. "_This_ ladies, is what we were waiting for."

I fiddled with the lense rims and got Joey's phone in perfect focus. He was texting her back, and this time he had the adress right.

"Is he texting her?" Mira asked, now excited she had a reason to be here. I let Téa look into the binoculars and even she couldn't resist a small smile.

_I'm'a kick back and watch shit go down  
While you're standing, waiting for her to come around  
An hour goes by and still no sign  
So you text her back, oh, one more time_

"So this is what you schemed," Téa tsked. Mira pouted for being left out of the loop, but we both ignored her. I watched him hit send and couldn't help laughing madly.

Téa held the newspaper up to our faces, pushing against it certain places. Mira even tried to look over it. People eventually turned away, and so did Joey. We cooly set down the newspaper, Téa giggling that she felt like a secret agent. She took up the binoculars and trained them on Joey.

She gasped and handed me them. I smiled.

"Thanks for the 'cream Mira, talk to you later okay?" I told her before dragging Téa through the partitions and around the block. We made it all away to the opposite corner and we could see Joey answering his phone. I put a finger to my lips and we jogged down the sidewalk, stopping ten feet from him. I walked foward a few feet to peer over his shoulder.

_'Where you at girl you said you was gonna meet me'  
This time you send the message correctly  
She writes back, 'dawg, you blew up your spot  
You're talking bout a text that I never got_

Téa had taken a few steps foward and looked as well. She clasped her hands over her mouth to contain her squeal. I grinned but held a finger to my lips again. We couldn't ruin it just now.

Joey fell to his knees, phone clutched in his hands.

_Who this girl you're talking to?  
Who this girl who coming through?  
You're messin with somebody else  
N--, you just played yourself'_

Téa, who was about to laugh, suddenly took a sharp U-Turn and rushed to her friend's side and rambled off concerned questions. I rolled my eyes and took my place in front of him. I used the toe of my boot to lift his chin up. The words 'Oh Shit' were practically written all over his face.

"Anything you'd like to say to me about your other girl?"

He bit his lip and stood up.

"You're gonna dump me right?"

"Forty seconds to explain, readygo," I replied.

"My uncle forced me to go to dinner with his potential business partner but he wouldn't give the job unless I dated his daughter pleasepleasedon'tkillmeIvaluemylifesooomuuuchhh," he sobbed, dropping down to hug my feet.

Téa shot me a look. I reached down for Joey's phone and punched in some numbers on the keypad. I set it down before him on the sidewalk.

"We'll see. Téa, let's go," I said, and we walked away behind him.

He sat there reading my text.

"_Listen bitch._

_This is the other girl. The real girl. You mess with my man again and you shouldn't expect to wake up the next day._

_-Mai V."_

I quietly approached him as he rose from his spot on the sidewalk. I tapped him on the shoulder and he whirled around. I had my lips puckered and he smiled.

Ahahaha.

_LOL  
I text your celly  
Gotta spell out: Go to hell  
Toss you in the trash  
Then reduce you to an acronym  
WTF? You reply  
I laugh so hard I almost cry  
Beat you to the punch line  
Broke your heart before you broke mine_

SMACK!

"**I BOUGHT YOU A JACKET**!"

* * *

Not my best work, but I couldn't bring myself to stop writing once I started.

My toenail hurts really bad.

R&R

-AGHD


End file.
